You COULD have what you want, but you keep going back…

You COULD have what you want, but you keep going back -Nichole Carlson

You keep going back to dip your toe in.

You stay in the relationship where you KNOW you are unhappy, but if anyone asks, you’ll defend your decision to stay.

They don’t mean it.
They said they were sorry.
They asked for another chance.
They are ‘trying’
They have all of these other things that you don’t want to lose if you had to walk away
You are trying to do the right thing for them
You are trying to stay together for the family
You don’t know how to tell your/their family
You think they can’t live without you – they won’t be able to take care of themselves
It isn’t that bad
You forgave them, so shouldn’t you forget?

Another relationship.
Same problem.

But you try harder because this person is ‘safer’

All the while knowing that you are a happy person living an unhappy life.


All the while thinking that this is what a relationship is – compromise, hard work, sacrifice…

Well, yes… and NO.
You are bullshitting yourself.
You can have what you want.
You can have the love, the trust, the intimacy…
You CAN.

But…

To get what you want, you have to walk away from everything that is NOT what you want.
Cut it off.
Walk away.

Because honestly, your soul will NOT let you stay.
You can try.
But 1 year… 10 years later… You WILL be walking away.
Because…
You are in a relationship where you are trying to prove you are good enough by making it work
You aren’t getting the answers to how a relationship works
The person you are with is JUST NOT A MATCH FOR YOU

You are trying harder
You are picking better people than the last one (even though the ‘safe’ ones aren’t getting you off, but you think that’s the sacrifice you have to make, right?)
You are reading the books, going to the seminars and going to therapy…

But what if…
You could just KNOW what to do?
What if…
You could just trust yourself?
What if you were finally strong enough to think that thing that you don’t want to think? To say it out loud, “I’m not happy”?… To get up and walk away?

What if you KNEW you were doing the right thing and you could fully carry through this time?

What if…
You could trust yourself not to go back?

Cos what actually NEEDS to happen is for you to have the inner strength to carry out what you need to do – otherwise, you WILL be STUCK, TRAPPED, AND TIED DOWN TO WHAT YOU DON’T WANT. 

THIS is actually what happened with me in my marriage. I was completely out mentally and emotionally for FOUR YEARS before I had the inner strength to walk my ASS out the door.

WTF?! FOUR YEARS?!

But I’m sure you can relate. I’m sure you know what it’s like to do something that doesn’t align with you, to stay in a relationship, to stay in a career, to stay friends with a toxic person, to CONTINUALLY SAY NO TO YOUR OWN SOUL FOR YEARS! 

We put up with so much shit and tell ourselves it’s not that bad.

LIES!

When we tell ourselves it’s not that bad, we are really trying to convince ourselves that it’s okay to do something that is against what our soul wants. 

AND when we go against SOUL, we shut down. We shut down our hopes, dreams, passions, and desires. We shut down our drive and motivation.

We push down our emotions. 

AND THEN we start medicating – emotional eating, working out to exhaustion, drugs, alcohol, working all of the time, Netflixing, affairs, porn… Whatever we can do to run ourselves down so that we don’t realize we HATE our lives. 

Oh no, wait. We don’t hate our lives.

It’s not that bad.

We have a lot to be grateful for.

THAT’S TRUE, BUT YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT. 

It’s not that you aren’t well taken care of. It’s not that you are lacking anything. It’s that you are going against what your heart wants. You are SAYING NO TO YOURSELF. 

NEVER

GONNA

WORK,

HONEY!

It’s not going to work in your business, in your relationship, in your health or in your life.

 

It’s Time to Flip the Switch,

Nichole


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