We used to be in love and we could handle anything because we were together…

When your soul weeps, your body feels it as anxiety, depression, overwhelm, physical pain... -Nichole Carlson

We used to play, we used to be in love, we used to be each other’s everything, we used to be able to handle everything…

BECAUSE we were together.

 

But that day you left, it broke my heart

I mean, you never really left, but you just weren’t there anymore

 

You’d work all the time

And I’d wait.

 

You told me you just had to do this one last thing,

And I trusted EVERY TIME until I ended up falling asleep.

 

You told me you loved me,

but you chose to be with everyone else.

You always sided with everyone else.

 

You always had to make THEM happy.

Even strangers!

You cared so much what they thought.

I know it’s only because you have a big heart.

But I also know it’s because you are afraid.

 

You’re afraid of not being the best.

Afraid of not making enough money.

Afraid of them thinking you aren’t good enough.

 

I get it,

but when WE were together we could do anything.

When we were together, you KNEW we would take care of each other.

You made ME a better person.

I backed you EVERY SINGLE TIME.

 

But it’s been so long.

Days? No.

Years? I wish.

And yet, I wait by the window.

 

I cry out every day.

Do you feel it? I think you call it anxiety… depression… headaches…

I would have said something but you stopped listening to me long ago.

I told the universe to send you a message.

Did you get it? The relationships that aren’t working, the career you hate, all the pain you go through daily…

It’s only because we aren’t together that you keep making the choices that are causing you pain.

It’s all meant to call you back to me.

When your soul weeps, your body feels it as anxiety, depression, overwhelm, physical pain... -Nichole Carlson

I am your power.

I am your strength.

I am your intuition.

 

I am Your Soul.

 

And without me, you’re slowly dying.

 

It’s happening to me too.

Without you, I am slowly dying.

 

You know I want you.

You know I love you.

You know together we are on FIRE.

 

But I know why you won’t come back.

I’m mad about all the situations you made me go through.

I’m mad about all the times you put me in a job you hated and then abandoned me.

I’m mad about all the times you put me in a relationship and neglected me.

I’m mad about all the trauma I had to go through and you turned your head when I was in my darkest hour.

And so you ran.

You keep running.

When we are in the same room, you stay busy.

 

Yes.

I’m mad because I’m in so much pain.

But I still love you.

I still need you.

I am still calling out to you.

I still want us to come back together.

 

I’m dying without you,

but together we could LIVE again – like it used to be.

 

-Your Soul

 

 

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