The Ultimate Guide to Manifesting Your Soulmate

Nichole Carlson, Flip the Switch, Manifestation Coach

How to manifest your soulmate

Become a vibrational match for what you want. 

If you truly want to manifest an emotionally available man who’s ready to commit there are a few things that you need to do.


Overall you need to become a vibrational match for what you want. What does this mean? It means you need to be the person that would manifest an emotionally available man. It’s not enough to be wanting and craving an amazing relationship.

It’s not enough to do all the things in a relationship until you are totally exhausted- In fact this will actually repel an emotionally available man.


So how do you attract an emotionally available man who’s ready to commit and wants to claim you as his own?


First, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Nichole Carlson and I have failed at relationships for over 20 years. But now I have finally figured out how to manifest my soulmate and I am currently dating my future husband who relentlessly pursues me.

In my twenties I was married to a man that had cheated on me. I stayed in that relationship for 12 years before I finally left thinking that I wouldn’t have the same problem. So I chose better partners. Safe partners. Partners that wouldn’t cheat on me. And yet I had the same problems. Abandonment. Neglect. Rejection.


And so at the end of 2017 I broke up with my last ex-boyfriend and swore to myself this would never happen to me again. I went on a journey for the next two years and I finally manifested my future husband with one line in my journal on May 31st of 2019. I wrote in my journal that I was so grateful to be married to this specific man that I had been friends with for 4 years and then for the next three days I laid in my hammock and visualized him proposing, and us getting married. On the fourth day he showed up in my living room saying that he would follow me wherever I went and we’ve been together ever since.

In this guide I’m going to tell you exactly what had to happen for me to manifest my future husband, and what needs to happen for you. I made four shifts that made this possible.

Nichole Carlson, Flip the Switch, Manifestation Coach


What do you want in a partner?

How do you want them to treat you?

How do you want them to be when it comes to their business or career?

How do you want them to be with money?

How do you want them to be with their health?


How to become a vibrational match is for you to be the things you listed above FIRST so that you can attract a partner that is a match for that.

Nichole Carlson, Flip the Switch, Manifestation Coach

How to attract your soulmate

You need to reprogram your relationship patterns. 

The first thing that I needed to do was I needed to reprogram my patterns. I needed to see what I had been doing wrong all this time and what I could possibly change. But honestly I always thought that it was my partner’s fault. I felt like I was doing everything possible to make the relationship work and he wasn’t really trying.

And honestly I was putting so much effort and work into the relationship and I was burning myself out. And this kept happening over and over again. Even if the relationship started out really amazing and I thought this was the right person then after about 6 months I kept having this same problem. They were just so consumed with their work that I got totally neglected and I felt abandoned.

So after my ex and I broke up in 2017 we went to counseling together as a broken up couple for 7 months.

I figured out that I had been recreating this pattern in all my relationships. I was dating great guys but we kept falling into this same dynamic. And honestly the trigger for this was my abandonment issues. My fear of abandonment led me into relationships with partners that would actually abandon me.

Nichole Carlson, Flip the Switch, Manifestation Coach

After the 7 months were over we had gotten the love, trust, and intimacy back and we were stronger than ever, but deep down inside I knew he wasn’t my soulmate and we ultimately broke up.  

I still had abandonment issues – and now more so than ever because he literally left me to move to Germany for a new job. The next thing I did was heal myself and specifically my abandonment issues.

What patterns do you face in your relationships over and over again?

How committed are you to eradicating these patterns on a scale of 1-10?

Nichole Carlson, Flip the Switch, Manifestation Coach

How to make a relationship work

You need to heal from your past. 

I never thought that I had trauma in my past but in the fall of 2018 I had been dealing with chronic pain in my leg for three years and I was going to all the doctors, seeing a physical therapist, and a massage therapist and literally working on my legs 24/7 to heal myself. 

And then something inside of me clicked and I thought, “what if this is emotional?”

And I used to think that emotional pain meant we were making up pain. But what I realized during this epiphany is that emotional trauma creates pain in our body.

And no matter how long it has been, time does not heal our pain. In fact it creates more pain if we haven’t dealt with this properly. And so I went back into my past and I did the emotional healing work to heal from my ex-husband cheating on me and the trauma I went through when my parents split up. My dad left my mom right after I was engaged to this man that had cheated on me and I stopped believing in marriage. I stopped believing in marriage and yet I was 6 months out from getting married and then I did what any normal 24-year-old would do in this situation, I got married. And I didn’t trust him.

My dad and I had a falling out and we didn’t talk for 6 years. During that time my mom got very sick with cancer and she passed away before her 48th birthday. This made me somehow equate abandonment to death which created even more trauma inside my body.

I never realized all these things and I never realized that I was unhealed from these things. I always thought I didn’t have it that bad or that I was strong and could deal with anything – And I could but I never dealt with it.

So fall of 2018, the pain was so bad and I started doing healing work around these things in my past.

I know my abandonment issues were the key thing that kept coming up in my relationships. We create in our lives what we fear the most.

Nichole Carlson, Flip the Switch, Manifestation Coach

If you fear being like your dad or your mom, that’s what you’re going to create. If you fear your next relationship being like your last relationship, that’s what you’re going to create. Healing removes that fear.

I created powerful healing exercises that not only have healed my emotional pain, they have healed my physical pain. I am 100% healed and pain free as of the summer of 2019.

I now teach these powerful exercises with my clients. 

What trauma have you been through in your past?

What pain do you consistently have in your body?

Nichole Carlson, Flip the Switch, Manifestation Coach

How to make a relationship work when it’s falling apart

You need to change your beliefs. 

I had to change my beliefs. I didn’t know I didn’t believe in love and I didn’t believe in marriage.

But I had stopped believing in marriage when I was about to marry a man that had cheated on me and my dad left my mom for another woman. I just started wondering, “Does marriage really work?”

“Are my expectations for marriage unrealistic?”

“Do you have to turn a blind eye to this behavior to make a marriage work?”


And so I stayed in my marriage for 7 years before getting a divorce And then I kept going from relationship to relationship wondering why it didn’t work.

Nichole Carlson, Flip the Switch, Manifestation Coach


But I didn’t believe in marriage. I didn’t realize this at the time but my anger and bitterness and triggers around relationships were all signs that I didn’t believe in marriage.

So if you’re getting triggered by those insta-couples, this may be a sign that you need to change your beliefs around marriage. And the only way to do that is to heal.


After I did the healing work, as soon as I realized I didn’t believe in marriage and that THIS was the reason I couldn’t manifest love, I decided to believe. But this couldn’t have happened if I hadn’t done the healing work.


Are you triggered by weddings, couples and Insta-couples? 

When did you stop believing? 

What made you stop believing? 

What do you need to heal in order to believe again?

Nichole Carlson, Flip the Switch, Manifestation Coach

How to make your relationship work for life

You need to have a soul-led life. 

There’s two ways to live your life, fear-based or faith-based. Fear-based is how most people are living in their life. Fear of the past repeating itself and fear of things going wrong.

And faith-based is knowing that you have the power to change things and being able to live a soul-led life.

When I was living fear-based I had a lot of anxiety around everything I was doing. I was always afraid of making mistakes. I was always afraid of time running out. I was always afraid of loss.

But once I started living a soul-led life this changed everything for me.. I realized I had the power in me to create the life that I wanted. I started believing in myself. I started doing things that made me feel good instead of forcing myself to live a life I didn’t want to live.

Nichole Carlson, Flip the Switch, Manifestation Coach

Living a soul led life is quite a process to learn when you’ve come from the kind of past we have.

But if you want to manifest your soulmate the only way to do that is to live a soul led life.

Your soul wants you to have all the things including your soulmate. Your soul will lead you to your soulmate and will attract your soulmate to you.


Where are you not living a soul-led life?

Where are you not trusting yourself?

What do you need to do to flip the switch and start living a soul lead life?

What area of your life needs the most work? 

What if you do this and your man is still not emotionally available?

When we get into a relationship with someone when we are on healed then we attract somebody who’s unhealed. You may be making these changes and have already been in a relationship. So that means the person that you were in the relationship with was unhealed because you were unhealed.

Your person is going to naturally start to heal as you do this healing work but because you attracted someone that was unhealed it’s going to take a lot more time.

If that person is not your soulmate then that person will naturally start to pull away and you will naturally start to pull away as well.

I don’t know what your exact situation is but just keep doing the work and keep focusing on what you need to do and your soulmate will be attracted to you and the wrong people will start to exit your life. 

Nichole Carlson, Flip the Switch, Manifestation Coach



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