I just got back from Puerto Rico where I met a guy I instantly had a soul connection with. We were both there to transition our lives in one way or another. We both went on faith, knowing we just needed to go.
We spent two days talking about our lives and all the things and at the end of two days, he just looked at me and said, “I feel better about things. I have a plan for going back home and I know what I want to create in my life.”
And I paused and looked at him intensely… “In all the things… In all the planning… Don’t forget to live”
I think that moment was powerful for both of us. Partly because when we journaled later we both -unknowingly – wrote that as a title to our journal page… And partly because this has been my life’s message.
In my 20’s I was married to a man I didn’t trust because he had cheated on me the first year we were together and in a career I hated because of the money – it was safe. On the outside my life was white-picked-fence-perfect. But fuck, I HATED it. I just felt the life force draining out of me every day and I would walk around with my head down and my earplugs in. I’d go hide in the bathroom at work and have anxiety attacks.
Near the end of my marriage, my mom got cancer when she was only 47. Over the next year, I watched her continue to work and go through treatments. She got sicker but talked about still wanting to take that road trip to the Grand Canyon with her dog Foster. She died before she turned 48.
This was a message to me – I needed to LIVE. There were so many days I was nauseous with my life and what I was doing, but I had no idea what was really wrong. (I’m SURE you know someone who has ‘anxiety for no reason’) I thought I had everything and that I was just ungrateful. I didn’t realize that I had said ‘yes’ to all the ‘right’ things and that with every small thing I said yes to, I was saying no to myself, my wants, my needs, and my desires until I had built up this ‘perfect’ life that I hated. For what? Security and ‘doing the right thing.’
I got a divorce and sold my house.
And then one day I quit my job, sold my car AN HOUR LATER, and was on a one-way to Spain the NEXT DAY.
So that’s the thing about not following soul – (Also the same as suppressing your soul) you get the point where you become so miserable that you take a blow torch to your life. For some people it’s drugs or alcohol, for others it’s cutting or suicide attempts and some people eat and Netflix binge. My flavor was drinking and cheating and eventually leaving it all because I knew I wasn’t a THAT person – a cheater – and it was about walking away from that person of myself.
When I left to travel, I learned how to live. When I came back to build my business I learned to follow my soul. When I competed in my bodybuilding competitions, I learned to love and live in the process of whatever I’m doing in life.
Now I can’t go back and change things for my mom. I can’t give her that trip to the Grand Canyon she wanted, but I can take the gift she gave me and LIVE.
And I get to help my clients do the same in their business, relationships, and life. For instance, last year I had a client who messaged me, “Nichole, I’ve been sitting here with a gun on my lap for the last 15 minutes.” We got on a call right away and he’s doing great now… but this is the way we live. No, you may not have a gun on your lap but in SOME way… you are missing life.
Either you’ve lost the passion in your business – or never had it…
Or you’ve lost the passion in your relationship – and maybe you overwork to escape it…
And maybe you are constantly working, not able to focus, procrastinating…
And you are just kind of in this zombie-trying-to-hold-it-together-mode…
Here’s the thing…we ALL forget how to live at some point. It’s easy to do. But how do you get back? How do you revive a dead business or a dying relationship?
It can be done. But what has to happen first is that…
You have to BELIEVE it’s possible for you.
In all the things, don't forget to live…
Posted by Nichole Carlson on Sunday, February 24, 2019