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When you just can’t live like this anymore…

When you’ve hit the bottom,

When your body has totally given out,

And you wonder, ‘How do you keep going when you’ve lost it all?’

When you’ve gotten to the point where… ‘fuck, you just can’t live like this anymore…’

And you are done trying.

You are going to figure this out and MAKE IT HAPPEN.

You don’t hire me to go from $20k months to $45k months…

You don’t hire me for business strategy…

You don’t hire me because your fighting with your partner…

Or You need to lose some weight… (even though all that happens)

 

You hire me because:

Your older sister just died at 43 and you just heard your parents in the next room say that you are next… and you know you need to change your lifestyle…

(This guy lost 100 pounds in 8 months and finally reclaimed his freedom from a software engineering job he was at for 20 years. He Started improv classes, dancing and going out with friends)

 

You are totally burnt out, run down, and missing your little girl growing up, and the pain of missing your life and the crushing demands of your work is devastating…

(She overcame her limiting money beliefs, we took care of her anxiety, and she was able to go from $20k per month to $45k per mo AND slash her hours by over half. She even had time to bring in an addition to her family 🙂

 

You’ve been raped on more than one occasion, abused, never healed and you want to be the woman you once were before the trauma. And you want to find a purpose and meaning to your life…

(Damn, this girl is a fucking rockstar. Relentless in her pursuit. She was able to heal and start loving herself. Her anxiety is way down and she started doing her own public speaking events.)

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You’re struggling with depression, and are tired of being alone, and you’ve given up hope that anyone would ever want to be with you. And you need to lose weight, gain confidence and stop working all of the time…

(He lost 65 pounds in 15 months, got a job promotion because of his confidence and found the love of his life and got engaged)

 

You are a visionary, on stage with the most well-known leaders and your business is such a success but your family life is suffering because you can’t be present… most importantly, you look back at your most recent vacation photos and you

totally

can’t

remember

EVEN

being

there

with your wife and kids.

You know you are missing your life because you are always living in the future.

You hire me because you feel like you’ve lost power and respect in your business, with your clients, with your employees, your partner/spouse, with your friends and you feel like you’ve lost yourself

(so many of my clients)

 

You hire me because you just lost $30k because you are desperately unhappy with your life and you are sabotaging your business…And you’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts you whole life and now you are sitting there with a gun on your lap.

(He got to the point where he realized he deserved a good life (for the first time ever) and was getting out of bed, taking care of himself, we rebuilt his confidence and he got the $30k back, he started his own business and started getting clients)

 

I'm the 911 coach. When you are DONE 'trying' -Nichole Carlson

 

You hire me because you are married and desperately unhappy, you’ve been wanting to leave for years, but don’t know if it’s the right thing for you, your health is suffering, your work is suffering and your emotionally tapped out.

(Several clients – they’ve all started getting a deeper connection with themselves, who they are and what they want – THIS has strengthened their own self-worth, their self-confidence and also the relationship!)

 

You hire me because you want the life you know is possible for you and you are DONE with all the pain, drama, grief, of not having a business that lights you up,

a relationship with the love… the trust… and the intimacy…

feeling healthy and vibrant in your body…

and you are done with being successful on the outside, but feeling so desperately unhappy and empty on the inside.

And

you

need

a

Revival.

 

This is where I work with my clients. This is the work we do. I’m not a business coach, not a relationship coach, not a diet coach,

I call out the leader that is inside of you –

The leader that desperately wants to be seen!

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None of that matters if you aren’t ENJOYING YOUR LIFE…

I get it.

Say yes to your soul and what you want. I teach that too, but I think we’ve glamorized it. I think we’ve been so deprived most of our lives that now that we ’get to have’ we are saying yes to ourselves and showing off because FINALLY we are the one…

 

We finally get to ‘be that girl’…

We finally get to have the business, the clients, the money, the clothes… all the things…

But we are binging…

And showing everyone what a great life we have… (what’s possible for them)

And that’s great, they should have what they desire too…

Again, I teach my clients this! And help them get all the things!

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But we have to be careful.

Our self-worth is being tied to this – the attention, the life, our client’s results, our income…

And it’s causing us self-doubt.

Because if our results change… if we don’t

And there’s an emptiness inside,

There’s a longing of your soul you JUST CAN’T seem to satisfy…

 

Sign?

That anxiety med you are on…

Self-doubt,

Your depression,

Your procrastination,

It’s showing up as problems in your relationship – those arguments that you think aren’t a big deal but really it’s the SAME argument you’ve had countless times…

The pain in your back,

That headache,

 

It’s a lot like a bodybuilding competition… (Who knew I was going to go there???? You get an extra star)

I had been lifting for 15 years before I started competing…

I had been eating healthy and taking care of myself…

 

But I craved it. Just once… to wear the sparkly bikini – to FIT into that sparkly bikini…

The sparkles on the heels,

The hair, the extensions,

The makeup,

The opera-loompa tan…

Just to BE THAT GIRL!

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And then I was. I signed up for a coach, started the prep diet, trained, did a hell-of-a-lot-of-cardio, and learned to walk in heels.

I became ‘that girl’ because my identity changed.

But the thing is, after ‘depriving myself’ (I honestly don’t feel deprived) for the prep, I go back to being me, which is not that different than ‘prep girl’

I don’t have to do competitions to feel good about myself.

I do it for the growth and because I enjoy the work.

I’m that girl every day no matter what I look like, because it’s inside of me – it’s my identity.

 

We have so much fear around losing money, a business, a relationship…that we forget that’s not who we are.

We ALSO forget that’s not what life is about.

Life is about living and enjoying whatever you are doing.

Money, your client’s results, that relationship… none of that matters if you aren’t ENJOYING GOING AFTER THESE THINGS.

 

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What to Do When You Just Can’t Live Like this Anymore

When you’ve hit the bottom, 

When your body has totally given out, 

And you wonder, ‘How do you keep going when you’ve lost it all?’

When you’ve gotten to the point where… ‘fuck, you just can’t live like this anymore…’

And you are done trying. 

You are going to figure this out and MAKE IT HAPPEN. 

 

You don’t hire me to go from $20k months to $45k months…

You don’t hire me for business strategy…

You don’t hire me because your fighting with your partner…

Or You need to lose some weight… (even though all that happens)

You hire me because:

Your older sister just died at 43 and you just heard your parents in the next room say that you are next… and you know you need to change your lifestyle…

(This guy lost 100 pounds in 8 months and finally reclaimed his freedom from a software engineering job he was at for 20 years. He Started improv classes, dancing and going out with friends)

You are totally burnt out, run down, and missing your little girl growing up, and the pain of missing your life and the crushing demands of your work is devastating…

(She overcame her limiting money beliefs, we took care of her anxiety, and she was able to go from $20k per month to $45k per mo AND slash her hours by over half. She even had time to bring in an addition to her family 🙂

You’ve been raped on more than one occasion, abused, never healed and you want to be the woman you once were before the trauma. And you want to find a purpose and meaning to your life…

(Damn, this girl is a fucking rockstar. Relentless in her pursuit. She was able to heal and start loving herself. Her anxiety is way down and she started doing her own public speaking events.)

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You’re struggling with depression, and are tired of being alone, and you’ve given up hope that anyone would ever want to be with you. And you need to lose weight, gain confidence and stop working all of the time…

(He lost 65 pounds in 15 months, got a job promotion because of his confidence and found the love of his life and got engaged)

You are a visionary, on stage with the most well-known leaders and your business is such a success but your family life is suffering because you can’t be present… most importantly, you look back at your most recent vacation photos and you 

totally 

can’t 

remember 

EVEN 

being 

there

with your wife and kids. 

You know you are missing your life because you are always living in the future.

You hire me because you feel like you’ve lost power and respect in your business, with your clients, with your employees, your partner/spouse, with your friends and you feel like you’ve lost yourself

(most all of my clients)

You hire me because you just lost $30k because you are desperately unhappy with your life and you are sabotaging your business…And you’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts you whole life and now you are sitting there with a gun on your lap.

(He got to the point where he realized he deserved a good life (for the first time ever) and was getting out of bed, taking care of himself, we rebuilt his confidence and he got the $30k back, he started his own business and started getting clients)

You hire me because you are married and desperately unhappy, you’ve been wanting to leave for years, but don’t know if it’s the right thing for you, your health is suffering, your work is suffering and your emotionally tapped out.

(Several clients – they’ve all started getting a deeper connection with themselves, who they are and what they want – THIS has strengthened their own self-worth, their self-confidence and also the relationship!)

You hire me because you want the life you know is possible for you and you are DONE with all the pain, drama, grief, of not having a business that lights you up,

a relationship with the love… the trust… and the intimacy…

feeling healthy and vibrant in your body…

and you are done with being successful on the outside, but feeling so desperately unhappy and empty on the inside. 

 

And 

you 

need

a 

Revival.

This is where I work with my clients. This is the work we do. I’m not a business coach, not a relationship coach, not a diet coach,

I call out the leader that is inside of you –

The leader that desperately wants to get out.

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How to stop worrying if you are going to make it, even after a breakup

When my ex-boyfriend left me last year on a one-way ticket out of the country (uhhh… sound familiar?)

I was like… but… who is going to take care of me?

But for real though.

And then I realized.

Oh.

Me.  

*pout*

 

I have spent decades neglecting myself, my dreams and my desires and when I realized that I had to take on a whole new level of self-love… well…

I took on a whole new level of self-love.

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Y’all have heard me talk about crushing it in my business, with my bodybuilding comp, and all the things…

 

But there’s always been an area of my life that I’ve neglected and I decided to start taking care of myself.

 

I went to a sex shop.

I got a necklace.

Battery powered.

Yes, I wear it.

Some of you have seen it but don’t know it.

 

I used to allow men in my life to neglect me, but that really started with me neglecting myself.

 

Now I walk away from the men who don’t treat me right because I know how to treat myself.

 

AGAIN the message is you GET TO HAVE YOUR DESIRES.

And when you say no to yourself – with even one desire, you are saying to other desires.

 

This stuff impacts your business, the clients you are or are not attracting, the money you are or are not attracting… it all comes down to how much you value yourself.

So what do you want?

And where are you denying yourself?

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I was talking to a Pro-Boxer a 2x Olympic Gold Medalist the other day…And what I said made him speechless…

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I was talking to a friend of mine who is a 36-year-old pro-boxer. He was telling me he started boxing when he was 4, turned pro at 18, and has boxed at the Paramount in NY City – which was ‘THE DREAM’.

“I did it all. I can die now.” he just looked at me.

“Ummm… So What if life isn’t about accomplishing things?

A blank stare came back at me from him, “What do you mean?”

Apparently, this had never occurred to him. “What if life is about experiences, being with people, connecting with people, feeling, being, having fun, enjoying life?”

I continued, “What if that feeling you feel in the ring when you are fighting… What is LIFE is about being able to experience THAT feeling in your everyday life?”

We sat in silence.

And maybe you’re reading this and you already know this. But it really doesn’t matter if you know it or not. What matters is – ARE YOU LIVING IT?

Seriously. TOO MANY PEOPLE ARE LIVING THEIR LIFE LIKE A CHECKLIST.

Even you ‘spiritual ones’ – yoga, meditation, personal development… It’ doesn’t matter. You can keep yourself so busy that you miss…

Okay. Let’s get real.

Do you have a restlessness inside of you?

Do you keep thinking it’s your relationship, or corporate job or something else?

Is there something inside of you that’s telling you something isn’t right but you don’t quite know what it is?

Just because you are doing ‘healthy things’ doesn’t mean you are connecting into your soul.

Okay, so life IS about experiences, being with people, connecting with people, feeling, being, having fun, enjoying life… but deeper than that?

It’s about YOU connecting into LIFE.

It’s about you connecting to your soul.

It’s about you saying yes to your hopes, dreams, and desires.

It’s about you backing you to go after your hopes, dreams, and desires – in EVERY part of your life.

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How I broke out of this idea that reality has to be a certain way and I finally started to live life…

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 We really get stuck – in our businesses, in our relationships, in our money mindset, in all-the-things. I was really stuck in my mindset after my divorce in 08 but there were a few key things that kicked me out of it.

 

In this video I talk about:

  • How I broke out of this idea that things have to be a certain way and reality has to be a certain way – and I finally started to live life.
  • Meeting Brandon and he showed me what living was all about.
  • How after he left it was up to me to create the life I wanted – with fun and excitement.
  • How travel takes me out of the box because I never know where I am going to sleep each night.
  • What you can do to break out of the stuck-ed-ness you feel every day.

 

WATCH ME ON YOUTUBE

WATCH ME ON FACEBOOK

 

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All I wanted was his love

?All I wanted was his love…
?All I wanted was for him to tell me how proud he was of me…
And by the time we stopped talking, all I wanted was for him to say he was sorry…?

 

But he was in the military so he was always ‘in the field’ or overseas.
I do remember him being around.
But I remember him gone a lot too. 

 

After I grew up and moved out, my brother came to our apartment (mine and my now ex-husband) to tell me dad was leaving my mom. ?
It just seemed to get worse after that.
Everything he did added to my list of reasons to hate him.
And I did.
I was angry for 6 years. ?

For 6 years I literally ran in anger creating pain in my feet.
There were days I was in so much pain I was crying because that I couldn’t walk – and that meant I couldn’t run.
But I still ran those days.
I was punishing myself for not being good enough.?

 

I finally realized how much pain I was in and I called to meet up with him.
We sat in a restaurant and cried as I read my 3 handwritten pages front and back.
“Nic, I’m so sorry…”
We started over.

After my divorce, I remember bragging to him about all the things I was doing, how I went to Machu Picchu, how I was traveling on my own, but nothing seemed to phase him.
But honestly, how do you impress an ex-spy? a paratrooper who lives for excitement and has done all-the-things?

Finally, I told him.
I just want you to be proud of me and I never feel like you are.
“Nic, I’ve always been proud of you. You should know that.”
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It was about a month ago that I was talking to my high school friend and mentioned my dad…
“Aw! I’m so glad you guys are talking again! I was so sad you stopped talking to him because in high school I was so jealous of y’alls relationship.
You were always daddy’s little girl. I could tell he loved you so much!”

It’s weird that 25 years later, my friend pointed out something I never saw but had been true the whole time. 

 

? I just needed to love myself (stop running in pain and seeking outside approval)
? Be proud of myself (had to love myself to be proud)
? and forgive myself (for putting myself through the rage and pain)
? before I could actually receive the love from my dad that had always been there.

 

We think our relationships are out of our control but we don’t take responsibility for the inner work we have to do. He may have ‘been wrong’ but ultimately our relationship was a reflection of the work I needed to do inside of me.

 

I don’t know where you are with your family, or who has hurt you, but I do know we can continue to live in that pain or we can choose to heal from it. I’m not saying it justifies anything that was done to you, but you deserve love and to be accepted and you will have to claim that for yourself.

You will have to be the one to say “I love and accept myself even if I never hear it from my father.”

 

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Driving yourself into the damn ground

You’re eating bullshit all day…

Follow this strategy,

build your biz,

have the BEST client results,

meditate,

make 7 figures…

Have the perfect body,

figure out your life…

 

And then…

You’ll be happy.

 

None of it will make you happy.

 

 

Don’t you feel the facade of the life you are building…

No?
Sometimes? If you’re honest. Yeah, I know you won’t admit it.
Because you are too busy.
Trying to make it work.
Self-doubting.
Just gotta make a million dollars…

Fucking driving yourself into the damn ground.

**You THINK my perfect life story isn’t for you? Why? Because you are a biz owner? Because you’re doing work you love? Because you’re ‘happy’ in your relationship? ???
FUCK YEAH ITS ABOUT YOU!

 

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Nothing outside yourself is going to make you happy.
And you can’t go inside yourself and be happy either because you’ve lied to, cheated on and neglected yourself your whole life.

 

EATING SHIT MAKES YOU PHYSICALLY ILL.
EATING THESE LIES IS ALSO MAKING YOU PHYSICALLY ILL.

 

Stop lying to yourself and writing it off as just a bad diet, when you know YOUR SOUL IS CALLING.

 

FUCKING WAKE UP.
YOUR KILLING YOUR SOUL.
FUCKING DEAD INSIDE.

YOU JUST DON’T KNOW IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SWIMMING IN A SEA OF DEAD PEOPLE.

They tell you it’s normal…
They tell you that it’s corporate and you’ll be free when you’re out…
They tell you to keep going…

 

FUCK THAT SHIT.

 

How long are you willing to keep chasing these lies?

 

I’m done.
Put your headphones back on.
Keep working on your goal.
Keep the facade up…
Because that’s all you have.

 
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Just too fucking busy trying to make it

I have regrets about my past relationship

I think we worked too hard during our time together,
We tried too hard in the relationship,

And we just didn’t spend time living and enjoying life. We had a whole greenbelt in our backyard that we never hiked. We lived in Austin and hardly went out. And we just missed time together.

And whatever about the relationship… but we were best friends.

And I feel like we missed a lot of it.

Just too fucking busy trying to make it and trying to support each other. And there’s nothing wrong with that, unless your missing life.

I remember having countless talks with him about this. How life was so important and so short. But he hadn’t been through some of the stuff I’ve been through. He had an experience the loss I had. And in the end, somehow everything became work.

Life has a way of bringing you back to what’s important.
Sometimes it’s a death like when my mom passed away.
Sometimes it’s your body fully giving out on you and leaving you lying on the living room floor unable to get up late on a Saturday night.
And sometimes it’s your ex buying a one-way ticket out of the country.

And in that moment, you need to listen. Because if you don’t, life… your soul… will keep sending you the message louder and louder.

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And tonight I’m walking this greenbelt, thinking yeah I had my regrets but those regrets are only a reflection of the regret that’ll have with the bigger picture of my life I don’t remember to make living the most important thing.

 

We sacrifice so much for relationships, so much of ourselves. It was only after we broke up we went to 7 months of counseling where I actually saw had been happening in my relationship and how I had been missing my life.

 

Most of us avoid relationships because we self-sacrifice.
So we avoid friendships.
We avoid romance.
and even when we’re married, we feel like we’re “married and alone” because people pull apart for this very reason.

But there is a way to be in a relationship and not self-sacrifice. There is a way to be in a relationship where you are able to be completely yourself and totally accepting of the other person.

 

And there is a way to be in a relationship and not make it all about work… And to actually live your life.

 

PS. Your soul is crying out. Your soul demands that you answer.
You’re trying to hold it together in your relationship, it’s causing you to lose focus in your business… And your eating is terrible. You feel like life is just coming at you and you just get to the point where you are done.
You want to finally start getting what you want,
You want to finally be happy,
You want to finally FLIP THE SWITCH in your relationship and your business to MAKE THAT SHIT WORK.
And you know it’s there… that switch… because you’ve flipped that switch before… but it’s not happening this time.
It’s time to walk away from the shit show and FLIP THE SWITCH.

 

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