BLOG

You want an easy business AND to infulence lives around the world…

You are running around saying you want all these things, saying you want it to be easy, saying you deserve all these things…

But you don’t want to do the work…

er…

Just want to get to the point where you can ‘coast’… pffff…

Go.

Home.

Just go home.

The athlete has to practice the same move over and over and over again…

The athlete has to focus on every single thing he eats – I mean REALLY think about that…

The athlete has to focus on sleep, turn down invitations to go out, and not (probably) not drink…

The athlete has to learn the game, learn the moves of his team, learn the moves of his opponents…

The athlete has to hire the coach and, for sure after some defeat or injury, they have to hire the mindset coach…

They don’t fucking talk about if they can ‘afford’ it.

IT’S THEIR DREAM.

THEY DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO FOREVER.

There is NO negotiation.

You want to impact lives?

You want to make a name for yourself?

You want to influence the world?

Fucking think again about the action you are taking and how you are showing up.

You want to coast?

You are an amateur.

You don’t have what it takes to go Pro.

[sc name=”promomiddle”]

It’s a winning mindset.

In or out.

No negotiations.

Do the work for the love of the work.

But…

The Pro knows…

Pain.

Total defeat.

Rejection.

Recovery.

The grueling work.

The smell of dusk.

The feel of calluses on their hands.

Loneliness.

Repetition.

Obsession.

And ONLY when Your Soul Is On Fire, will you become PRO.

 

This kind of behavior is NOT an option!

Maker:L,Date:2017-9-19,Ver:5,Lens:Kan03,Act:Kan02,E-Y

Why Your Soul Is Not on Fire

WHY YOUR SOUL IS NOT ON FIRE

And why it probably will never be…if you continue on this path

 

I believe that we all have hopes dreams and desires that we once cherished.

Somewhere along the way…

they got trampled by ‘reality’…

they got pushed aside because of people-pleasing…

they got pushed aside because of trauma…

All the reasons, right?

 

And now ‘this is the way we are’ ‘this is what we know’

And most of us are running around trying to find the right way

And trying to figure out ‘how to make it’

[sc name=”promomiddle”]

 

For reals, aren’t you tired of trying to figure out all the shit you’re doing? It’s totally manning and I refuse to be part of that madhouse. My mind and body just won’t let me.

 

But what’s really happening… is we are only going surface level on everything.

Just tell me how to hold my shit in a bucket and I’ll be on my way, thank you very much.

We are too busy to even realize that our shit stinks…

And that it’s attracting the flies… (hello bad relationships, money mindset that keeps you in debt, jobs you hate)

And that it’s so fucking heavy… (hello, energy drains and depression)

 

We are so busy we can only ‘afford’ to go surface level. You don’t have time to care that the problem is resolved. And so you go into another bad relationship, another bad business, another bad diet…

Or you stay in one…

 

Either way you end up tired, beat down and unable to create anything that you want.

 

The things you SAY you want…

Freedom (the feeling of pure safety and peace of mind)

Time

Money

Passion

Sex

A passionate sexual relationship

A vibrant healthy body

 

You are working against.

Because what that requires is for you to tap back into your dreams and desires,

To trust yourself,

To say no to all the bullshit around you – including your own,

 

And what that takes is being able to see what I see for you – being able to see what’s possible,

How to clear out the things weighing you down,

How to start getting what your soul wants,

And how you can set your SOUL ON FIRE.

 

Again, you are sitting there in the same set of problems for how many years now? Nothing’s changing for you because you are missing THIS foundation.

You can figure out how to make money,

run a business,

get married,

 

But good luck making it work in a way that brings you true happiness if you don’t know how to listen to your soul.

If you aren’t on fire – Your life won’t be on fire.

And your sex life also won’t be on fire. I really feel that’s a very important part to add.

Too many people are going without sex. AND without good sex.

 

If you want the things you say you want, look at your life. Are you getting them?

Or it’s around the corner?

Still?

Again?

Just so close, right?

Again, how long have you been saying that?

 

And when are you going to see the surface shit isn’t working?

 

It’s Time to Flip the Switch,

Nichole

 

We are struggling with depression, anxiety, our businesses, money, sex, relationships and I see what the real problem is with all of these things. We are trying to fix the symptoms and as long as we do, we are missing the real message that our soul wants us to hear…

“Come back to yourself.”

But honestly THIS is the hardest journey to go on because it’s the one we resist the MOST.

We will do more for other people than we will do for ourselves, but this has become our poison.

Only when we truly learn to love ourselves, will we be able to figure out the bigger stuff.

And honestly, I came from the same hustle, masculine upbringing you probably did – that’s why you relate to my stories. And I never thought this would be my path, my message. And now that it is, I can’t believe I never saw it before.

And I’m sure it’s the same for you. You’ve had trauma in your life. You’ve had painful breakups. You’ve struggled just to find your way.

And it’s never worked for you.

 

[sc name=”promobottom”]

Are you willing to walk away from ‘the perfect life’ to get what you REALLY want? Last week…

Last week I went to lunch with a friend of mine who I had about a minute to say yes to dating him at the end of 2017. We’ve been friends for 4 years and obviously, I was in a relationship until the end of 2017 and he was available and interested, but respectful, while I was with my now ex-bf.

There was about a month he was available before he started dating HIS current girlfriend.

[sc name=”promothin”]

Well, basically I walked away from the chance to date him – because when you know, you know. The thing is… He’s great. We are both in love with the gym (he’s my main of my workout partner) and he’s hot. (I mean, what else IS THERE?! Kidding. Just being boy crazy)

But I went to pick him up and it was a bit surreal. I went to their condo and it was beautiful. I just thought, ‘Wow. This could have been my life.’

Perfect.

Beautiful.

Pretty much flawless.

 

But, I knew he wasn’t the one.

That wasn’t my life.

And we went to lunch.

After lunch, he told me, “Nichole, you are going to find someone who’s crazy about you and you’re going to have a huge wedding and I’m going to be there.”

Warm tears ran down my face. Doubts rushed into my head. “How is this possible?”

And even though, I KNOW it’s possible, I live like it’s possible and I speak like it’s possible, our past programming always comes back to plant in disbelief – ya know? To keep us from “getting our hopes up.”

I took a deep breath and let it go along with the doubts and fears that had rushed in.

I always get what I want. I’ve done the impossible. I’ve created my life from my imagination.

Here’s the thing – WE NEED TO KEEP BELIEVING.

And the other thing –

It’s just really grounding when you KNOW who you are and what your soul wants. And then also kinda like… damn. This could have been my life.

But when we do something that isn’t in alignment with our soul, we take something that isn’t ours.

And I’ve tried that on before.

My marriage.

My software career.

Uh.

No.

I’ll wait for mine.

[sc name=”promobottom” ]

Most people in relationships are finding ways to avoid their relationship…

Most people in relationships are finding ways to avoid their relationship…

Let’s be clear…

 

You are not in a relationship if they are married to their job

And you are sleeping alone every night.

 

We are getting into ‘relationships’ and finding ways to avoid intimacy (not just sex)  

If we are the workaholic, we can give give give financially and securit-ily (had to make that word up to fit) but we can still hold back our vulnerability  

So we go into the nagging… ‘why won’t you be with me?’ ‘I do everything for you’ and the shut down shit…

Lovely.

 

You are not in a relationship if you are emotionally, mentally and sexually neglected.

 

Security is not a relationship. Stop lying to yourself.

Also, how are you emotionally, mentally, and sexually neglecting yourself? Take care of that shit before you point fingers.

[sc name=”promomiddle” ]

You are not in a relationship if ‘you see potential’.

(Please leave NOW!! NEVER DO THIS!)

 

I know you ‘see potential’ but THAT’S NOT THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH. You are with the person who IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT. Check in with reality. What IS WILL ALWAYS BE.

 

You are NOT in a relationship if they are cheating on you, doing drugs behind your back and promising ‘it’ll never happen again’.

 

I understand forgiving and all of that, but you will NEVER FORGIVE YOURSELF for forcing yourself to be in a place where you feel unsafe and are always looking over your shoulder… in fact, you will get to a point where you LOATHE YOURSELF for staying.

[sc name=”promomiddle” ]

You are not in a relationship if they are emotionally unavailable.

 

Already covered this.

 

You are not in a relationship if you have ‘exhausted everything you know to do’ and you want to leave.

 

Giving 90% is the same as giving 0. Fix it or get the fuck out

 

All in or all out. This leads to you cheating… and NO I don’t believe ‘you would never cheat’. I know you are a good person and YOU believe you would never cheat and you have no intention of cheating, but… look, your integrity is already coming into play with you being 1/2 in this relationship. So just based on integrity alone – 1/2 in, is the same as cheating.

 

You are not in a relationship if you are with them to ‘help’ them –

MEANING…you are trying to validate your own self-worth by being with someone that “needs” you.

Most people in relationships are finding way to avoid their relationship. -Nichole Carlson

You are supposed to be their lover, not their savior. That job has already been filled. Thank you, Jesus. So stop trying to give, earn, and work to MAKE the other person happy. You need to take care of yourself, love yourself and love the other person. It’s not a job. No wages are given and no score is kept.

For some reason people are into ‘look how hard I tried’ ‘I Worked so hard’ ‘I gave everything’

Well, maybe that’s the problem. That wasn’t your job.

 

Your job in a relationship is to love yourself first, take care of yourself first (which means you are going to say no to all the bullshit above if you really love yourself) and then love the other person.

 

Yes, go to work and love your job, but don’t use it to avoid the relationship.

Yes, help the other person, but don’t avoid being open, communicating, being vulnerable, and being sexual.

 

And stop picking relationships that allow you to run from the relationship…

Relationships with people that live long distance.

Relationships with people who work all the time.

Relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable.

 

Again,

I’m not saying these issues won’t come up. People get busy, all the things, but I’m saying…

If you are avoiding the relationship with yourself, you’ll probably get into one of the above.

 

[sc name=”promobottom” ]

We used to be in love and we could handle anything because we were together…

We used to play, we used to be in love, we used to be each other’s everything, we used to be able to handle everything…

BECAUSE we were together.

 

But that day you left, it broke my heart

I mean, you never really left, but you just weren’t there anymore

 

You’d work all the time

And I’d wait.

 

You told me you just had to do this one last thing,

And I trusted EVERY TIME until I ended up falling asleep.

 

You told me you loved me,

but you chose to be with everyone else.

You always sided with everyone else.

 

You always had to make THEM happy.

Even strangers!

You cared so much what they thought.

I know it’s only because you have a big heart.

But I also know it’s because you are afraid.

 

You’re afraid of not being the best.

Afraid of not making enough money.

Afraid of them thinking you aren’t good enough.

 

I get it,

but when WE were together we could do anything.

When we were together, you KNEW we would take care of each other.

You made ME a better person.

I backed you EVERY SINGLE TIME.

 

But it’s been so long.

Days? No.

Years? I wish.

And yet, I wait by the window.

 

I cry out every day.

Do you feel it? I think you call it anxiety… depression… headaches…

I would have said something but you stopped listening to me long ago.

I told the universe to send you a message.

Did you get it? The relationships that aren’t working, the career you hate, all the pain you go through daily…

It’s only because we aren’t together that you keep making the choices that are causing you pain.

It’s all meant to call you back to me.

When your soul weeps, your body feels it as anxiety, depression, overwhelm, physical pain... -Nichole Carlson

I am your power.

I am your strength.

I am your intuition.

 

I am Your Soul.

 

And without me, you’re slowly dying.

 

It’s happening to me too.

Without you, I am slowly dying.

[sc name=”promomiddle” ]

 

You know I want you.

You know I love you.

You know together we are on FIRE.

 

But I know why you won’t come back.

I’m mad about all the situations you made me go through.

I’m mad about all the times you put me in a job you hated and then abandoned me.

I’m mad about all the times you put me in a relationship and neglected me.

I’m mad about all the trauma I had to go through and you turned your head when I was in my darkest hour.

And so you ran.

You keep running.

When we are in the same room, you stay busy.

 

Yes.

I’m mad because I’m in so much pain.

But I still love you.

I still need you.

I am still calling out to you.

I still want us to come back together.

 

I’m dying without you,

but together we could LIVE again – like it used to be.

 

-Your Soul

 

 

[sc name=”promobottom” ]

I’ve had clients go through ALL OF THE TONY ROBBIN’S EVENTS AND STILL IN DESPERATE NEED OF THIS

When you KNOW who you are…

When you say yes to your soul…

When you say yes to your desires…

When you back yourself…

 

When you say fuck what everyone else wants, I have to do what’s going to take care of me

When you start doing that – everything changes for you…

You show up in your business…

You make the money you’ve been holding yourself back from…

You create the relationship that you’ve secretly always wanted…

You create a body that is vibrant and healthy

 

The issue is… most people are looking for the short term – they are in so much pain and so tired from constantly saying no to themselves they just want to escape.

 

But ALL ROADS lead back to YOU and your relationship with yourself.

Nichole Carlson

If you’ve always said no to yourself and yes to everyone else –

If you are a giver,

If you are a helper,

If you are a self-sacrificer-to-make-everyone-else-around-you-happy…

 

It’s a pattern.

You aren’t getting what you want,

You aren’t getting what you need,

You aren’t EVER going to get it…

UNLESS THIS CHANGES.

 

And honestly, I work with my clients on. THIS IS THE THING!!!

It’s the thing we want to ignore,

It’s the thing we ALWAYS put on the back burner,

It’s the thing we keep trying to band aid up…

But it’s the ONLY thing that matters.

 

I have fought it my whole life –

Too busy for myself, for the things I really wanted,

Running myself down, physically, emotionally, spiritually…

Saying, “It’s not that bad” and “I don’t need that much”

 

Going after the body, the house, the husband, the career, and living with anxiety…

[sc name=”promomiddle” ]

 

And then, escaping with a one-way ticket to Spain.

But all roads lead back to a relationship with you.

Stay or go… At the end of the day, EVERYTHING points back to you loving you.

And we resist it.

We fight it.

For some reason, we want to be martyrs,

Earn our way,

Prove ourselves,

Get validation.

 

Fuck that.

It doesn’t work.

It’s never worked for you – look back at your life.

Your money patterns… Stuck

Your relationship patterns – keep attracting the same damn problem

Nothing’s changing for you and nothing is going to change for you unless you LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF

And honestly, NO ONE TEACHES WHAT I TEACH AT THE LEVEL I TEACH IT.

 

I’ve had people go through ALL OF THE TONY ROBBIN’S EVENTS AND STILL NEED THIS.

There is a foundation that you don’t have – that I didn’t have when I built my life in my 20s.

 

Look, you can keep building your life on the sand and keep watching it wash away when the tide comes in,

or

You can start backing yourself and change your life forever and work with me.

 

I’m THAT serious.

[sc name=”promobottom” ]

3 Reasons Most People Never Create the Life they Want

The difference…

Between the one who makes it

And the one who doesn’t…

 

We are looking for success in life… business… our relationships…

They aren’t something you can strategy up or fix with your meditation Band-Aids…

The one who makes it is all-in…

Committed…

Not looking for ‘the answer’ or to microwave their success…

[sc name=”promomiddle” ]

The one who makes it knows…

It’s for life…

There’s no going back…

Sure you can fall, pause, rest…

But at the end of the day, there is no question if they are going to keep going…

 

The world can tell them no,

but they don’t accept it.

The world can call them a failure,

but they keep going.

Because it doesn’t matter what the world says.

It only matters that they show up and be that person every day.

But the bigger difference between the one that makes it and the one who doesn’t,

they become THE PERSON who does the work…

They take on that identity…

They automatically do the things that make them that person…

It’s not something they force themselves to do…

They never say, ‘Let’s see how I feel tomorrow’

 

The one who makes it doesn’t care about the finish line,

they care about the process,

they care about being the person who does the work every day,

They care about showing up AS that person,

Even before they themselves can see the person,

Even before the world sees them as that person,

Because they know and believe that they are already that person.

They don’t need proof.

They show up every day and their mindset and their work validates their identity.

 

And they know that it’s the daily repetitive work that makes them that person:

The work of saying cutting off anything that does not align.

The work of daily focusing their mind on what they want and why they want it.

The work of always believing – no matter what.

The work of being honest about who they are and what they need.

The work of always doing the work

[sc name=”promobottom” ]

When Your Unheaded Trauma is Causing You Physical Pain

I’ve been pain-free for 4 weeks, and before that, I had chronic pain in my legs for 6 months

The training I did for my competition just brought out the pain

It’s emotional pain

It’s been there for over 10 years

I did it

To myself

 

Yeah I went through trauma

When my dad left and my mom got cancer and died (which has been my secret fear since then)

It was pretty traumatic

I didn’t think anything of it at the time

I thought I handled it well

 

But that all coincided with the timing of my now ex-husband cheating on me

It all just pointed to ‘I’m not good enough’

I have to make sure I don’t fuck up

I have to be perfect

I have to accept what’s available because being with someone who doesn’t cheat… That’s not realistic.

You need to forgive.

You need to be grateful and see the upside.

And you can’t trust your desires… your desire to have the love you crave, the desire to be in a relationship with someone you trust, the desire to be in a passionate relationship…

 

So I ran

I ran to stay fit

I ran to stay perfect

I ran to let out my anger, my pain, my resentment

Every day I woke up angry

It was burning inside me

[sc name=”promomiddle” ]

But I made my bed

I married that man who cheated on me

I “forgave” (which really meant I just shut the fuck up about what I wanted)

And I burned with anger… because he kept neglecting me, he kept leaving me every night when I went to bed and he stayed up working, he kept me last on his list…

 

But his words, I love you, you are everything, I couldn’t live without you….

I clung to them like they were drops of water in the desert… And they WERE!

I was living without the love I was craving and setting for the facade of love cloaked with a house… a career… a marriage…. “security”  – everything that WASN’T the thing I wanted, the thing I needed

All A lie.

Obviously

 

It was all like grains of sand in my hand…

I had to be so careful not to move,

Not to be too much,

Not to say or do the wrong thing…

I was desperate to hold it all together…

 

Until I couldn’t…

I reached a tipping point…

 

And all I did was open my hand…

And a light breeze…

That’s all it took…

And all the ‘security’…

All of the grains of sand…

Gone…

Just…

Completely gone…

 

Like it was never there…

 

And the last 6 months…

The pain came full on after quietly sitting inside my body for over 10 years…

I couldn’t sit…

I would avoid anything where I would have to sit…

Avoid going out…

Avoid the chairs in my dining room…

Avoid doing Facebook lives sitting down (that’s why I’m always laying on the floor)

I couldn’t drive without pain…

 

And yes I did physical therapy every single day…

For at least an hour…

There were sessions with my PT that I would just cry…

Every day I woke up in pain…

My therapy made it more painful…

But not doing my therapy made it wayyyy more painful so I always did it…

 

And the pain in my legs made me address the cause…

The emotions…

The running I did to escape the trauma…

My dad, my ex-husband, the cheating…

But bigger than that…

FORGIVING MYSELF FOR ABANDONING MYSELF IN MY DARKEST HOUR…

FOR TURNING MY BACK ON ME…

FOR PUTTING ME INTO A MARRIAGE WHERE I DIDN’T TRUST THE MAN I WAS WITH…

FOR SAYING TO MYSELF, ‘NO, YOU DON’T DESERVE MORE THAN THIS’

 

 

So yes, these last 6 months have been hard for me as fuck,

But I believe that because I paid attention to my emotional healing,

this pain was my saving grace from my body telling me through a stronger message like cancer

 

This message is for you.

You have been through pain

You have been through trauma

Maybe you thought it wasn’t that bad or that you handled it well…

 

But it’s coming up as

Depression

Anxiety

Energy drains

Obesity

Back pain

Headaches

Heath issues

Divorce

Relationship problems following you through multiple relationships

Sabotage

Binge eating

And I’m not saying that just because you have one of the things I listed above, that there’s something you need to heal from, but what I am saying is your body is capable of sending you messages from your soul…

And your body is capable of healing itself…

And your sabotage may be connected to a message that you need to take care of something that’s not being addressed in your life…

 

Just sit and listen to your body…

Maybe all it needs is to KNOW you are finally listening so that it can start the healing.

[sc name=”promobottom” ]

I believe most of us have been on autopilot not even really living

Hey Love,

I had one of my midnight intuitive hits the other night about what I was supposed to bring about in this world and I saw a revival.

 

A revival spreading throughout the people.

 

A revival of your soul.

A revival of your life.

A revival of your relationship.

A revival of your natural state – happy, laughing, playful, healthy.

 

And I saw lives changing.

I saw depression disappearing.

I saw people living without anxiety.

I saw marriages being healed.

I saw people finally saying yes to their dreams and desires.

 

I believe most of us have been on autopilot, just living life as it comes at us – but not even really living.

 

And maybe as children we were living life, going out and riding our bikes, swimming in the lake and playing with our friends but somewhere along the way, we forgot it.

Maybe it was society,

Maybe it was a traumatic event we went through,

Maybe we were just told no so much that we started to accept it

Maybe we were told to be realistic

Maybe we just never figured out who we were and what we truly wanted

[sc name=”promomiddle” ]

 

And now…

We find ourselves going through the motions of what we are supposed to do,

feeling stuck,

like there’s no way out,

 

but somewhere…

deep inside of us…

we have a knowingness…

We’ve always had a knowingness…

that THIS isn’t the life we were meant to be living…

there is something bigger…

 

And then one night,

Our anxiety wakes us up thinking…

and we remember our hope, dreams and desires from long ago…

Those unrealistic dreams that were shut down…

But no.

“That’s not possible.” we think.

 

But our anxiety is telling us to listen…

And I believe that we going through things like anxiety, depression, restlessness as part of our awakening…

and if we don’t listen,

it gets worse… and the universe somehow chimes in…

And life gets worse…

Pushing you out of where you were comfortable but unhappy…

 

But we don’t listen

I didn’t listen.

And when we don’t listen,

An event happens…

Like a friend dies…

Your partner leaves…

You mom gets cancer and dies…(this was mine)

 

And THIS event is part of our awakening…

It’s a call to you…

Are you going to start living…

Are you going to start saying yes to your hopes…

Are you going to start dreaming again…

Are you going to realize your desires are given to you for a reason…

 

See, I believe you are here for a reason…

Everything you’ve gone through up until this point…

And you have a choice… you can lean in and trust yourself and finally start LIVING

Or

You can find a reason that gives you an out. (What would other people think, I can’t because I’ve always been this way)

 

Either way it’s fine.

But remember… It’s still a choice.

 

But what I see for you, is LIFE.

Life like you’ve never had before.

Joy, passion, excitement, possibilities, love, friends, inner-peace.

[sc name=”promobottom” ]