BLOG

There’s a sinking feeling inside of you. A sadness. A feeling of being trapped…

 

There’s a sinking feeling inside of you. A sadness. A feeling of being trapped…

WTF is your life if you are always working…
If you are always stressed…
If you are always doing something until you can…
If you are putting off your vacations, your friends, your family and going out?

There’s a sinking feeling inside of you. A sadness. A feeling of being trapped. A feeling of loss…

 

You think…
I just need to get through THIS…
This year things HAVE to change…
Once I figure this out, then I can…

But you’re telling yourself…
It’s not that bad.
You can make it another month.
You need to do this first.

And then some days when you are tired, the TRUTH comes out.
Fuck this shit.
I’m done.
You feel nauseous.
You have another anxiety attack.

You take another xanax or zoloft or Adderall or caffeine + ibuprofen – AND YOU PUSH THAT SHIT DOWN.

Because you have to push through. You have to make yourself do this. After all, you want to be successful.

But THIS never works. You get to a point where you are so fucking sick of it nothing matters – everything you worked so hard for… nah. Not worth it. Fuck it. Fuck it all.
I DID THIS! I have lived this nightmare – I was married to a man who had cheated on me & we were together for 12 years! I chose a career for the money and security… and I hated it. I wasn’t allowed to talk about the cheating or to talk about anything that was wrong in the relationship. I would go to the bathroom at work and have my anxiety attacks.

I compromised my values and my integrity by making one ‘small decision’ after another that eventually created my entire life – a life that I HATED but justified that I ‘had a good life and should be grateful’

I wasn’t following integrity, heart, soul…

And honestly, I didn’t know anything about following heart & soul.
And integrity was tough to me as self – sacrifice… make others happy… do the right thing for others… forgive – even if that meant mental & emotional turmoil for the entirety of my marriage.

Finally, I couldn’t force myself to stay.

I LITERALLY COULD NOT FORCE MYSELF TO STAY.

[sc name=”promomiddle”]

We got a divorce and shortly after I quit my job, sold my car an hour later and the next DAY I was on a one-way out of the country.

And maybe your story is different. Maybe you have created the business you’ve always wanted and you are building the life you want, but you are still getting that feeling of being trapped, waiting for your life to start, and sacrificing what you want now for your future…

If you aren’t creating a life that makes you want to…
jump out of bed with excitement every morning,
create programs in your biz that you absolutely are in love with,
Calling in your soul mate clients easily,
make more $$$ money because you are on FIRE and get to work less,
attracting people that light you up in your personal life,
And excited to go home every day because your relationship is on FIRE…

Then it’s FUCKING TIME to Flip the Switch!

 

Nichole


[sc name=”promobottom”]

You COULD have what you want, but you keep going back…

You keep going back to dip your toe in.

You stay in the relationship where you KNOW you are unhappy, but if anyone asks, you’ll defend your decision to stay.

They don’t mean it.
They said they were sorry.
They asked for another chance.
They are ‘trying’
They have all of these other things that you don’t want to lose if you had to walk away
You are trying to do the right thing for them
You are trying to stay together for the family
You don’t know how to tell your/their family
You think they can’t live without you – they won’t be able to take care of themselves
It isn’t that bad
You forgave them, so shouldn’t you forget?

Another relationship.
Same problem.

But you try harder because this person is ‘safer’

All the while knowing that you are a happy person living an unhappy life.


All the while thinking that this is what a relationship is – compromise, hard work, sacrifice…

Well, yes… and NO.
You are bullshitting yourself.
You can have what you want.
You can have the love, the trust, the intimacy…
You CAN.

But…

To get what you want, you have to walk away from everything that is NOT what you want.
Cut it off.
Walk away.

Because honestly, your soul will NOT let you stay.
You can try.
But 1 year… 10 years later… You WILL be walking away.
Because…
You are in a relationship where you are trying to prove you are good enough by making it work
You aren’t getting the answers to how a relationship works
The person you are with is JUST NOT A MATCH FOR YOU

You are trying harder
You are picking better people than the last one (even though the ‘safe’ ones aren’t getting you off, but you think that’s the sacrifice you have to make, right?)
You are reading the books, going to the seminars and going to therapy…

But what if…
You could just KNOW what to do?
What if…
You could just trust yourself?
What if you were finally strong enough to think that thing that you don’t want to think? To say it out loud, “I’m not happy”?… To get up and walk away?

What if you KNEW you were doing the right thing and you could fully carry through this time?

[sc name=”promomiddle”]

What if…
You could trust yourself not to go back?

Cos what actually NEEDS to happen is for you to have the inner strength to carry out what you need to do – otherwise, you WILL be STUCK, TRAPPED, AND TIED DOWN TO WHAT YOU DON’T WANT. 

THIS is actually what happened with me in my marriage. I was completely out mentally and emotionally for FOUR YEARS before I had the inner strength to walk my ASS out the door.

WTF?! FOUR YEARS?!

But I’m sure you can relate. I’m sure you know what it’s like to do something that doesn’t align with you, to stay in a relationship, to stay in a career, to stay friends with a toxic person, to CONTINUALLY SAY NO TO YOUR OWN SOUL FOR YEARS! 

We put up with so much shit and tell ourselves it’s not that bad.

LIES!

When we tell ourselves it’s not that bad, we are really trying to convince ourselves that it’s okay to do something that is against what our soul wants. 

AND when we go against SOUL, we shut down. We shut down our hopes, dreams, passions, and desires. We shut down our drive and motivation.

We push down our emotions. 

AND THEN we start medicating – emotional eating, working out to exhaustion, drugs, alcohol, working all of the time, Netflixing, affairs, porn… Whatever we can do to run ourselves down so that we don’t realize we HATE our lives. 

Oh no, wait. We don’t hate our lives.

It’s not that bad.

We have a lot to be grateful for.

THAT’S TRUE, BUT YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT. 

It’s not that you aren’t well taken care of. It’s not that you are lacking anything. It’s that you are going against what your heart wants. You are SAYING NO TO YOURSELF. 

NEVER

GONNA

WORK,

HONEY!

It’s not going to work in your business, in your relationship, in your health or in your life.

 

It’s Time to Flip the Switch,

Nichole


[sc name=”promobottom”]

Why you still aren’t showing up…

Are you going to going to keep sitting on the sidelines? Are you going to keep waiting for your circumstances to change? Are you going to keep blaming your personal life? Are you going to keep blaming that big failure? Are you going to keep staying in your pain? Are you going to keep accepting the reasons that have been holding you back? Are you going to keep waiting until you get your personal life and relationship figured out before you step forward and do what you KNOW you were called to do?

Because I KNOW you fell flat on your back.
I KNOW you went through some stuff.
I KNOW it was hard… it took all you had… it drained you.

And I KNOW you are tired.

But guess what.
You are still standing.

And if you want what you SAY you want, the time is NOW.

There is something you were BORN to do.
You didn’t come all this way just to let the days keep passing.

You went through the pain, the struggle, the trials so you could rise up out of the ashes and step into your vision.

You don’t just have a vision so you can sit on the sidelines.
You didn’t just get a vision so you could wish for something better.
You don’t just have a knowingness that you are supposed to do great things (even if you don’t know exactly what that is).
You haven’t gone through everything you’ve gone through to stay quiet.
You got here for a reason.
And I KNOW how hard it is.
I KNOW how tired you are.

BUT I also know you want this.

Even though you’ve told yourself not yet.
Even though you’ve said you need to figure out this other thing.
Even though you’re tired.
Even though you wonder if it’s still possible after you’ve hit the bottom.
Even though you feel like you are starting all over again.
Even though you wonder if you can trust yourself again.

[sc name=”promomiddle”]

Here’s the thing.
You’ve got to keep going. And I don’t mean keep going as in stay where you are. I mean keep going as in step up into the vision you were given. Because part of the reason you are struggling and kind of bored, honestly, is because you are supposed to step into the next level.

You are supposed to start doing what you know you were born to do and to start taking the steps EVEN THOUGH you don’t know the whole plan.

It’s a trust thing.
And the reason you are so unhappy is because…

That discomfort is trying to move you from where you are to where you need to be.

So the choice is simple. You either get up and keep going, or you stay and let things get worse – because that anxiety, that stress, that situation will get worse until you move.

AND WHAT IF… you could just set your Soul On Fire! Like it used to be?

 

It’s Time to Flip the Switch,

Nichole


[sc name=”promobottom”]

Are you waiting until you have your shit together?

Last year I slayed! I had enough of my bullshit in my business, in my relationship and with my body – ok, well maybe my body was pretty legit but I still wanted to get to the next level.

I had just gotten out of my relationship with my ex and decided I was going to work out my relationship issues that kept following me.

I did a total overhaul on my business because I was ALL-IN.

And I trained for 9 months for my bodybuilding competition and won first, first and third.

I worked through my shit! And it was the most productive and rewarding years I have ever had! But the thing is… deep inside, I STILL knew I was holding back. I STILL knew that I wasn’t stepping fulling into who I was meant to be.

I kept doubting…

I kept asking if I would be able to handle it…

I kept NOT doing the work – while still doing the work. It IS a thing. You can be serving and doing all-the-things… but still not fully owning who you are meant to be.

I think we all kind of do that. We KNOW we ‘should’ be so much further along. We have this vision or at least an idea that we aren’t living out our purpose.

And while I believe that we are exactly where we need to be at this very moment and everything we have done was right and has led us to this point, I ALSO believe that we have a choice RIGHT NOW to step into who we are meant to be.

There is a version of you… right now… who has the business…the relationship… the life…

There is a version of you who is fully living out your purpose.

There is a version of you who is NOT WAITING UNTIL THINGS GET BETTER before you move forward.

There is a version of you who is DOING the work that actually is THE WORK.

?The question isn’t – What’s wrong with you and why aren’t you doing the work?

You already know why…

➡️ It’s the relationship problem…

➡️ It’s the money…

➡️ Fear…

➡️ Kids…

➡️ Health…

All the things… But you have actually been in this problem for a while and you keep using it as the reason you aren’t showing up in your business.?

And yes, it is a valid problem and yes, it is taking up your time, money and energy… but you keep giving it all your focus… and it’s consuming you. ?

[sc name=”promomiddle”]

? But aren’t you sick & tired of putting off your calling?

? Aren’t you sick & tired of holding off the things you want & deserve until after you do this & that?

? Aren’t you tired of waiting for you to do the things you know you should have done yesterday?

? Aren’t you kind of … embarrassed?

And maybe that’s why you are hiding now.

You’re almost at the point where… oh yeah… you feel out of integrity of who you KNOW you are.

And that nervous anxious feeling? ☹️

? Yeah, you know the one – the one you used to get way back when – for me it was when I was married to a man I didn’t trust & working in a career that was sucking the soul out of me.

? That feeling – it comes back. But this time it’s telling you to wake up.

? You should know better.

? You know you were born for more.

? You know you didn’t go through everything just to survive it and start life over – you went through everything to become THIS person – well NOT SO MUCH because you are hiding – – but the person in your vision – the person you are claiming to be -the person with a mission, a calling, a desire to change the world…

That vision was given to you – and ONLY you. There is something you were born to do.

And everything in your life has led you to this very moment.

And you’re – hiding?!

WTF. Really?

This is how you are behaving?

Because… you… don’t… have your shit together? Really? That’s the reason?

Well, let me just say – that’s not a thing.

Having your shit together is not a thing.

I’ve been at the point where I’ve had it all together – everything was ‘perfect’ – and it just made me burn it all down and leave the country on a one-way ticket. Perfect ain’t pretty. And perfect will not keep you warm and night and will certainly not get you off.

So… the next level version of you – the one with the vision… Are you going to step up? And do you REALLY want this life? ❤️ Because just because you have a VISION and a CALLING does NOT mean you will actually live it.

YOU NEED TO DECIDE TO BE THAT PERSON.

It’s Time to Flip the Switch,

Nichole

[sc name=”promobottom”]

Don’t Forget to Live

I just got back from Puerto Rico where I met a guy I instantly had a soul connection with. We were both there to transition our lives in one way or another. We both went on faith, knowing we just needed to go.

We spent two days talking about our lives and all the things and at the end of two days, he just looked at me and said, “I feel better about things. I have a plan for going back home and I know what I want to create in my life.”

And I paused and looked at him intensely… “In all the things… In all the planning… Don’t forget to live”

I think that moment was powerful for both of us. Partly because when we journaled later we both -unknowingly – wrote that as a title to our journal page… And partly because this has been my life’s message.

In my 20’s I was married to a man I didn’t trust because he had cheated on me the first year we were together and in a career I hated because of the money – it was safe. On the outside my life was white-picked-fence-perfect. But fuck, I HATED it. I just felt the life force draining out of me every day and I would walk around with my head down and my earplugs in. I’d go hide in the bathroom at work and have anxiety attacks.

Near the end of my marriage, my mom got cancer when she was only 47. Over the next year, I watched her continue to work and go through treatments. She got sicker but talked about still wanting to take that road trip to the Grand Canyon with her dog Foster. She died before she turned 48.

This was a message to me – I needed to LIVE. There were so many days I was nauseous with my life and what I was doing, but I had no idea what was really wrong. (I’m SURE you know someone who has ‘anxiety for no reason’) I thought I had everything and that I was just ungrateful. I didn’t realize that I had said ‘yes’ to all the ‘right’ things and that with every small thing I said yes to, I was saying no to myself, my wants, my needs, and my desires until I had built up this ‘perfect’ life that I hated. For what? Security and ‘doing the right thing.’

I got a divorce and sold my house.

And then one day I quit my job, sold my car AN HOUR LATER, and was on a one-way to Spain the NEXT DAY.

So that’s the thing about not following soul – (Also the same as suppressing your soul) you get the point where you become so miserable that you take a blow torch to your life. For some people it’s drugs or alcohol, for others it’s cutting or suicide attempts and some people eat and Netflix binge. My flavor was drinking and cheating and eventually leaving it all because I knew I wasn’t a THAT person – a cheater – and it was about walking away from that person of myself.

When I left to travel, I learned how to live. When I came back to build my business I learned to follow my soul. When I competed in my bodybuilding competitions, I learned to love and live in the process of whatever I’m doing in life.

[sc name=”promomiddle”]

Now I can’t go back and change things for my mom. I can’t give her that trip to the Grand Canyon she wanted, but I can take the gift she gave me and LIVE.

And I get to help my clients do the same in their business, relationships, and life. For instance, last year I had a client who messaged me, “Nichole, I’ve been sitting here with a gun on my lap for the last 15 minutes.” We got on a call right away and he’s doing great now… but this is the way we live. No, you may not have a gun on your lap but in SOME way… you are missing life.

Either you’ve lost the passion in your business – or never had it…

Or you’ve lost the passion in your relationship – and maybe you overwork to escape it…

And maybe you are constantly working, not able to focus, procrastinating…

And you are just kind of in this zombie-trying-to-hold-it-together-mode…

Here’s the thing…we ALL forget how to live at some point. It’s easy to do. But how do you get back? How do you revive a dead business or a dying relationship?

It can be done. But what has to happen first is that…

You have to BELIEVE it’s possible for you.

https://www.facebook.com/nichole.allene/videos/10214045581993214/

 

[sc name=”promobottom”]

Crash-and-burn. Self-sabotage

[cs_content][cs_element_section _id=”1″][cs_element_row _id=”2″][cs_element_column _id=”3″][cs_element_text _id=”4″][cs_element_text _id=”5″][cs_element_text _id=”6″][/cs_element_column][/cs_element_row][/cs_element_section][/cs_content]