Last week I went to lunch with a friend of mine who I had about a minute to say yes to dating him at the end of 2017. We’ve been friends for 4 years and obviously, I was in a relationship until the end of 2017 and he was available and interested, but respectful, while I was with my now ex-bf.
There was about a month he was available before he started dating HIS current girlfriend.
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Well, basically I walked away from the chance to date him – because when you know, you know. The thing is… He’s great. We are both in love with the gym (he’s my main of my workout partner) and he’s hot. (I mean, what else IS THERE?! Kidding. Just being boy crazy)
But I went to pick him up and it was a bit surreal. I went to their condo and it was beautiful. I just thought, ‘Wow. This could have been my life.’
Perfect.
Beautiful.
Pretty much flawless.
But, I knew he wasn’t the one.
That wasn’t my life.
And we went to lunch.
After lunch, he told me, “Nichole, you are going to find someone who’s crazy about you and you’re going to have a huge wedding and I’m going to be there.”
Warm tears ran down my face. Doubts rushed into my head. “How is this possible?”
And even though, I KNOW it’s possible, I live like it’s possible and I speak like it’s possible, our past programming always comes back to plant in disbelief – ya know? To keep us from “getting our hopes up.”
I took a deep breath and let it go along with the doubts and fears that had rushed in.
I always get what I want. I’ve done the impossible. I’ve created my life from my imagination.
Here’s the thing – WE NEED TO KEEP BELIEVING.
And the other thing –
It’s just really grounding when you KNOW who you are and what your soul wants. And then also kinda like… damn. This could have been my life.
But when we do something that isn’t in alignment with our soul, we take something that isn’t ours.
And I’ve tried that on before.
My marriage.
My software career.
Uh.
No.
I’ll wait for mine.
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